We got the call!

Last Monday afternoon we had finished school and Annika and I were getting ready to take a little rest (because she had been up most of the night with her head over a bowl) when we got a call asking if we were interested in a 17 month old girl. We said yes and didn't hear anything for over 2 hours, so we assumed we weren't getting her. We didn't know- this was all new to us! Then I got a call that said we'd probably be getting her and then a call that they'd be at our house by about 5:45. Trav had to teach, so he wasn't even here. Things went way more smoothly than I had expected. She really liked our girls and so that helped tremendously. That girl can give quite a mean look, which I have gotten quite a bit- but it is getting better. :)

I should have blogged then, but I was worn out and the week kept going, then Olivia was up all night with her head in a bowl. So...now it has been over a week and things are becoming a little bit more real. At first everything came without a fuss- eating, diaper changes, teeth brushing, sleeping, etc. I even commented how we'd have a houseful of bio children if our kids were all like this. And then time passed and she got a little bit more comfortable and the fun wore off and reality hit. Most things come with a fuss and a mean look, but that is to totally be expected. But I will be honest. It is not easy. I have about a million emotions going at one time in my heart and mind all day. They wear you out. It is difficult to love a child that isn't your own as your own (not knowing if they will be your own or not); it is difficult to love a child and pour your life into them when they may be gone in a few weeks; it is difficult impossible to not pour yourself into a child just because they may be gone in a few weeks; it is difficult to see things you'd rather not see- like little hands instinctively reaching into the trash can for food. But it is good for so many reasons- this little girl, although not given the love and care she fully needed and deserved, has been spared a lot. And we are grateful. She is smart. She catches on quickly and learns things quickly. She sleeps- very well (despite a tummy bug and a terrible cold). And eats very well- despite being sick and having VERY swollen gums and she can't have any meds to help her (until after her dr appt tomorrow!)
These things are hard for me to share and admit. I knew things would be hard, but I expected them to be hard in a different way. I love kids and this is what God has asked us to do. The things that are hard, honestly shouldn't be hard. But they are. I guess that is where we are reminded we cannot do things on our own.
So really, I think it'd be better to blog another time. When things aren't so crazy in my mind and when we know what we are doing a little better. But it is good to be real and to say that no matter what I am grateful that God will give us what we need to care for this sweet girl and he will watch over her no matter where she ends up. And for that I am grateful and can keep getting out of bed each morning!