Merry Christmas!

Since we lived in OH, we've always had to do Christmas early- and no one really complains! Travis ALWAYS tries to move it one day earlier than we had originally planned- which throws everything off. I was laughing this year when he said (3 days before)..."You know...we could do Christmas" and he got cut off. Not this year! :) It always makes me laugh. I think there is some little kid in him that just can't wait! Here we are playing with two of my gifts- a tripod and a remote for my camera. We've had a good time. The girls have had a REALLY good time. We probably have 40 pictures {at least} of them doing crazy things. I love that they know how to have a good time!

We are so blessed to have these two sweet girls and each other. I love that I get to spend so much time with them and watch them grow up. Couldn't ask for anything better!

Merry Christmas!

It's funny to me that although I have been majorly lacking in catching up on the blog- this is what I choose to write about. I am missing the child that is supposed to be in our family. Wherever this little girl is, she is not here. And that breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because whatever she is going through right now IS.NOT.GOOD. And it is hard to not be doing what is so close to God's own heart. I loved the safety of knowing I was doing what he wanted. It was hard. Not the loving of the child. But the dealing with of many people I'd rather not have to ever talk to or have interfere with my day. But that is part of loving the child.
There were days and times I almost couldn't take it. And a break has been good and it was needed. Again, not from the sweet girl God blessed us with, but from dealing with fostering junk. All ministry has junk, I have learned. And that was the junk we had to deal with. But it gets heavy and hard to manage. But it hasn't taken long for me to be ready to be right back in it- junk and all. I'd rather not have another day of junk, but I want even more to be loving on a child that needs to be loved on.

Plans

What do you do with plans that won't be played out? I had big plans for the first birthday party, Christmas, and even Thanksgiving. Crawling, first steps, dadadada, cake all over her face. So lost as to what to do with all of that. How in 8 days will I be sending back the precious gift God has given us to parent and love for 6 months? Today I got a text saying next Friday is the day. (has to be judge approved tomorrow). But this isn't what we were told. We were told it will at least be a year. At least. There is no way it will be any sooner. There will be lots of notice. Weekend practices, etc. Nope. God's got different plans and fully trust they are good, though they hurt. Badly. I can't believe this is my update! I have been so planning exciting updates like sitting up, talking, eating, etc. There have been all great days- for 6 months. God has blessed us so much with this sweet gift. We were just handed her. This beautiful gift he made. I will never forget what an undeserved blessing that he gave us. But giving it up is amazingly hard. I knew it would be. I just forgot what hurt feels like.
Seeing my girls with her everyday is such a blessing! She lights up for them and loves them. I am so sad that she'll be spending all her days in a downtown day care instead of in my arms, in her bed, on her schedule. God is good and I am grateful to have this to constantly turn to. Because I know there are going to many days where I will just want to hunt her down and move us all to Switzerland.
So please pray for comfort, protection for her all of her days, for our girls who are crushed, and for next Fri. It is a crazy day. Olivia has two performances of the Nutcracker-one of which I signed up to help for- people are going to be getting tears when they buy flowers! and my in-laws will be in town. Being watched as we hand over our girl sounds terrible. I know I will need some time to grieve, but I will need to slap on a happy face.
I know all will be well, it just sucks for now. So I guess I'll just plan for things to suck for a while.

What to share?

Well, it has been too long! I have a hard time knowing what to share! Our sweet baby girl is growing, growing. She is over 2 months and has the sweetest chubby cheeks ever. She loves to be held, smile, talk, and is starting to giggle. It is amazing all God protected her from while in the womb. I am so, so grateful. At this point she will go back to her bio mom at 6-7 months of age- most likely. I have come to realize this depends more on CPS getting their work done than the mom actually doing anything. I have learned way too much about the system. It is burdensome, ridiculous, overwhelming, and makes me want to help and hide all at the same time. Maybe when we don't have a placement I'll be able to share more. This wasn't something we were prepared for.
For now we are enjoying watching her grow. And trying to enjoy the days of my big girls since they are growing too fast. My mom was in town last week and we got to take them to a water park. We got a sitter for the baby. It was so fun to just take the big girls and do whatever they wanted over and over again. It was such a blessing to get that time with them!
This week we are doing VBS. So far, so good. Our church does an amazing job of making it easy on the teachers. I have a great, all girl group. :) Perfect for me! I am also in a room with a good friend- which makes it even more fun.
Speaking of good friends, I have learned it doesn't matter whether you live in the Midwest or the South, it takes about a year and  a half to make some good friends. I am thankful for the ones God has put in our lives.
We are hoping to get to travel to see family in the coming weeks. We are waiting on the official approval. I CANNOT wait! There is something about knowing you aren't allowed to leave the state that really makes you want to!
This journey has been an amazing one. God has taught me so many lessons I wouldn't trade. They've been tough- like realizing I am no more deserving of this precious baby girl than her bio mom is. But they are all worth it. One thing I prayed for for this placement was to find joy in caring for the child. Well to say there has been joy would be a major understatement. I have enjoyed caring for her more than you can imagine. Such a blessing!
Ok, better get to bed so I am somewhat rested for VBS!
Thanks for your prayers!

Quick update

Well, our sweet little girl with a head full of hair is now 3 weeks old! In many ways it seems like we've had her way longer than 3 weeks! I guess it is being up at night! :) She is overall a great sleeper. Usually sleeping 2 1/2 to 3 hours at a time. Last night she slept for 4 hours! Yea! It is so fun to care for her and we have actually been able to just sort of continue on with minor changes. Honestly it is easier to care for a newborn than a child that already has a life, history, and some pretty miserable circumstances. I had been praying God would really give me a heart to truly love the next child we got. Well, much to my surprise, God knew a newborn was the way to go. I wouldn't have ever picked that age! Most of you know I am a toddler lover. I think it is so much easier to enjoy a baby when they didn't come from your body. You aren't totally worn out and don't have all of the crazy emotions, depression, etc going on. I am very blessed to get to have experienced both and I feel like God just blessed me so much in getting to care for this precious baby.

The girls just love her. And are so helpful. It has been a learning experience for them and they are so nurturing. Great to see out of your kids!

We aren't really sure of a timeline and many, many things can change. It looks like we'll have her about 6 months. I would completely have her forever if possible. Trusting God that he has a perfect plan for her and he loves her entirely more than I ever could. So I know no matter where she is he will be watching over her. I do know it is going to be crazy difficult to let her go if that is what we need to do. But for now, I won't worry. I'll just love her and care for her tiny little body that is quickly filling out! She is getting some chubby cheeks that are adorable!

Little Bity News

We got a call for a newborn baby and now my arms are full of a tightly little swaddled bundle that is precious! I really like her! It is funny because at church on Sunday my heart (for the first time in years) had a tug for a baby. I was really surprised. Guess he was preparing me! Of course I can't share much, but at this point we don't know much. One minute I am in Kroger with Olivia hurrying to get what we need so we could pick up Annika from gymnastics. And the next minute I am racing around getting our house ready for a newborn. We got her about 6 hours after the call. She's so cute and is really great- she's definitely in the honeymoon stage! We have no idea how long we'll get to keep her, but I am pretty sure it wouldn't take much for us to keep her forever!

babies

So this weekend has been the weekend of babies. I would have to loved to have been in OH and in Little Rock for all of them! My best friend in OH had her sweet baby girl. My best friend in LR had her twins (at only 25wks) and my cousin and his wife had their first baby today. I can't wait to go to LR next week and visit these precious new lives. Wishing I had a private plane to fly to see them all! It is so hard to not be close and help, snuggle, and love.

Fort Worth Botanical Gardens

My mom was here during her spring break- last week of March. One of the things we did was to go to the Botanical Gardens. We've been to several parts before, but not the rose garden. It looks like something from a Jane Austen movie. Amazing. You feel like you are somewhere else.

We had done a lot by this point! We started at the Water Gardens downtown, but there was no water! Glad we had this planned, too!

Little update

I've been trying to think of what to write- there is a lot- Annika turned 5!! on March 28. I can't believe my baby is 5! We have so many cute pictures from her birthday fun. But I seem to leave those at my picasa site and then have this going on over here at Blogger.

Well, as most of you know our first foster daughter left the Monday after my last post. I was worried about the goodbye, sadness, her feeling abandoned, etc. But God totally took care of all of that. I am so, so thankful. He did it in some strange ways, but it kind of makes me laugh now. I just looked back at the post where I was so sad about the time change. I'll just say come Monday morning I wouldn't have minded if it had changed a few hours. Sweet little one had a very hard couple of days. She was defiant in everything. Did I make that clear? EVERYTHING. It's amazing how when you don't have a lifetime of trust and love built with them how fickle you can be. And how fickle I was. I wanted to ooze love, patience, grace, hope, and joy. But honestly that is not what happened in the face of minute upon minute of struggle with her. God made the goodbye easy in several ways. I am going to do what I do best- make a list.

1. She was so hard to like the last two days. Just being honest here. Some days she was showing so much love and being able to accept love. And some days she was hard. All the way around. You are the adult here right?, you might ask. Yes, I am, but I am an adult who is so unfit to do anything God would ever want me to do that I am desperate for his help.

2. The CPS worker assured us in so many ways that she was going to the PERFECT place. A lot of it I can't share, but God worked mightily for this little girl and I don't want it to be overlooked.

3. I put her in the car with her new favorite books (Goodnight Moon was one) and she just looked at them and I guess she assumed I was getting in the car with her. She never even looked up. And she had been having major separation anxiety, so this was huge! She didn't cry the whole way and was super excited when she saw the person she was going to live with! Such a blessing to this mama's heart! {and separate side note- she didn't even know how to sit through a book when she came! And she loves them now! So fun to see!}

So we went out of town the next day, which was my birthday. We stopped to see my dad and step-mom on the way and they had planned a little party for me and then when we got to LR, my mom had planned a big family surprise party for me! I felt so special and it was so nice to get away from our house and reset. During that time we were still waiting to hear about a little girl that was up for adoption. We heard that we had been invited to a really important meeting for her and we were just waiting to find out when that meeting would be because someone was on vacation. A week or so later we found out she'd already been matched with another family. This ride is like a crazy roller coaster. God is definitely teaching me to bounce back a little faster than before. Sometimes I hang out down at the bottom mulling over things a little too long. So we are back on the emergency placement list again trusting God with what his plan is and hoping in the mean time he fills me with so much more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control- because it doesn't come naturally!

Crazy Adventure

Well, our lives are about to change again drastically. Like they did 6 weeks ago. Today was a loooooooooooong one. This little girl has either a super high day or a no good, very bad day. Today was the latter. Defiant in everything. EVERYTHING. I was really looking forward to church tomorrow, but I hate to take all 3 of the girls and their colds to church. But Travis will be here tomorrow, so that should help some. And hopefully we'll end on a high note! I want to share about these not so good days too because it is good to be realistic and is good for those considering doing this to know more of what it is really like. It isn't a fairy tale, like I often think of for families. It is another life, with lots of needs, and you don't get to follow your own parenting rules. You do what the state says. That can be very difficult. But this has definitely been a blessing I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on. And I am so glad God involved us in her little life and has {hopefully} used us to help heal her heart.

This whole thing almost seems like a dream. Travis described it great. He said it is like we've been on some crazy adventure that no one knows about. None of our family or close friends ever got to meet her- so it is like a second life we've lived. It has drastically impacted us, but our family really has no idea. I am really looking forward to going to visit family next week, but I am also a little nervous. What if no one asks about this precious life that we are missing? How could they know how sweet and special she was? How can I fully say how we were impacted? Do any of them really care? These are all good things for me to think through and honestly it really doesn't matter. God knows and I feel completely honored to have gotten to be a part of his work in her life. That is enough- I just need to remember that! :)

Packing

Ms B will head to a relative's on Monday morning. I have never hated the time change so much. She is getting picked up at 10. I had it all planned out. Big breakfast, sweet long bath, and playtime before...I can't even say it. But now I realize she is really getting picked up at 9. This means everything will be hurried, including our goodbye. I don't like this one bit.

I have gone through and packed up everything. We have to write down everything she brought and everything we bought. So today during her nap I went through and counted everything...with my girls making a lot of loud, weird sounds that were killing my already hurting head. It took way too long, but it is done. So it all sits, neatly folded and packed in a new, cute suitcase waiting by the front door. Such a reminder of what is to come- and who will be going. I should say, the things we bought are in the new cute suitcase. The other things are in the huge blue bag that CPS gives you when they bring you a child. I don't like those bags. So I put all of the things we were given by her family several weeks after we got her in that big blue bag because i don't like them. Not because of what they look like, but because I don't like what they represent. They represent a precious little girl who was not loved and cared for. And an environment that is not good. And a life that was headed no where.

I have so much hope that her life is headed somewhere now. That a little seed has been planted in her heart to know there is more than what she's been given. And that God has redeemed what was once broken. And that he isn't done.

I have completely enjoyed every single giggle today, but it is sad too all at the same time. We planned to go to the zoo today and just ride the train and the carousel as many times as she wanted. But everyone else in Fort Worth was there today along with every single school bus in Ft. Worth. So we opted for the Forest Park Train instead. Thankfully it is about a block away! She LOVED it! She woke up with a terrible cold today, but we pressed on because she needed a fun IHOP meal and ice cream from Yo! Tonight she was so snuggly and giggly. She cannot get enough of books now. When she came she looked for a second and then moved on, but now...now she sneaks another while you are reading one just so she'll have it ready when I am finished with the one I was just reading. So sweet.

The highlight of the day was during her bath this afternoon. This is so simple, but something I probably won't take for granted ever again. You know how you can look at your kids and just do a little smile and they do that little smile back? B has never done that. Sometimes you'd get a glare and sometimes just a lost look. Today during her bath I sat her down and she looked up at me and I just did that little smile because she seems like one of my own and she did it back. It meant more than any hug or giggle. That's the smile of belonging and it was so good to see.

Reprogramming

So much I'd like to share that I am learning right now...but I have no idea where to start. The big lesson right now is life isn't about my comfort. I don't need to make decisions based on how easy it will make my life or how much joy it is going to bring me. It is not about me. It is not about me. Maybe if I say it enough it will soak in. So much of my life, and I am guessing others, has taught me to seek a great life- a good job, a good husband, a nice home with nice furniture, comfort, peace, and things that make me happy. I am learning that although those things are all awesome, they are not what it is really all about. So what is it really all about? I am not sure I can put it down in a sentence yet. I have things swirling around in my head, but I have a hard time pushing out all of the garbage I've learned over the years.

Women's bible study at church has been so good. So, so good for me. It has totally challenged the way I think. It is called The Gospel Centered Life. Every week we go and learn so much and also share what our thing is. For example, this last week we talked about idols. We don't come in assuming maybe someone else has an idol- we all say these are the ones I have. And it is awesome. There is no pretending or performing- it is all honest and it is amazing. If only it were like that outside of that room. I want my life to be like that all of the time. But it really is so hard to reprogram my mind to truth.

Thankfully that is where the Holy Spirit comes in. I cannot do it on my own. He does it. {yes, he. The Holy Spirit is not a thing} I am reading a great book about this right now. It is by Francis Chan (he wrote Crazy Love). I HIGHLY recommend this book. Especially for anyone who...actually just for anyone. Oh, I guess I should say the name. It is called Forgotten God. It is a life changer that is biblically based. He talks about all different kinds of views we've probably had whether we grew up in a charismatic church or a church that occasionally mentions the "Holy Ghost" and then the rest of the time pretends he doesn't exist. He is just teaching what the bible says and it is so life changing and I LOVE it!

I don't want my life just to be comfortable, I want it to be doing what God is doing. And often that isn't comfortable. Like thinking about adoption. For every thought that God could use us to bless a child, I have 15 fearful, selfish, and sometimes angry thoughts.

On a lighter note- Big girls got trophies last night for cheerleading- they were so excited (they were a little confused why it had a basketball player on it). And little one was cute at dinner tonight. Olivia prayed for dinner and then when she was finished, little one put her little hands together (the best she could) in front of her face and started pretending to pray. It was precious!

3 hugs

Today sweet little one gave three hugs to someone whom she's never hugged before- her foster daddy. They were the sweetest hugs I've seen. And such a reminder at how God must see us when we finally come to him. He's there just waiting and loving. And then we turn and it is so sweet.

Great Progress

Little Missy has come a LONG way in just a few days. It is amazing the progress she has made! She is doing more each day showing a need for some help (even though it is still only in the little things) and coming to me for hugs. She is really bonding which is so great...except that she won't be here long. It is really heart breaking to think of her leaving. She's just in the last couple of days just blended right in and become a "normal" part of our family- with less screaming, whining, and angry looks. Much more giggling and fun. She even says "please" when wanting some food instead of just screaming (sometimes there is a scream first, but when we remind her she says it!) We are all just getting each other and it feels so good. I am thankful that today I knew I wouldn't be getting a phone call saying they were coming for her, so I could really just enjoy it. Although tonight when I was reading her books before bed, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It could be tomorrow. Or maybe it won't be so I shouldn't think that...but I need to have everything ready because I know when they call I won't be able to think straight...God please give me peace about this because I totally trust you with her...this is really painful...stop it... This is what my mind pretty much goes through constantly. It is heart breaking and I can say that because of the past two days it will be even harder, although I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I realized today there won't be a day in my life that I don't wonder how she's doing. Or what she's doing. Or if she's being taken care of. I am not sure how to deal with all of that, but I am thankful God won't ever leave me or leave me alone to deal with those thoughts. And this is all part of doing what he had for us to do. So even though there is pain, I know he will use it to make us more like Him and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful that he will ALWAYS be with her and I don't have to worry about that either. But I am a little worried about when they try to come get her. I am not sure how I will be able to let them take her. They may have to literally pry my arms off of her. She's definitely got some separation anxiety now, so I don't expect it to be pretty. I am just not sure who will be crying louder- her or me. :)

overwhelmed

That's how I feel right now. Not like you'd think, but as I watch our newest little one each day, I see more and more where she was neglected. It makes me sick. At this moment, it is overwhelming. How can an 18 month old not know I am there to help her? The only time she asks for help is for food. Not when she falls, gets hurt, needs to reach something, is awake in bed, or anytime. It is terrible to think she doesn't even know she should be loved and cared for that way.
I know this happens all of the time in orphanages and homes around the world. But her home wasn't supposed to be all that neglectful. Which scares me. They don't even see what I see. Will they listen to what I have seen? Will they watch for that as she grows?
She is probably moving onto a family member's house soon and I can only trust that God will provide her with an amazingly loving family that will care for her and heal those terrible hurt places she doesn't even know about. I can't imagine how it must hurt God's heart to watch his children hurt. Because it is almost more than I can stand right now. My prayer for her is that she'll always know he is with her and that he will free her from the life this world has promised her.

Quick Update

Just a quick update to say things are going well. The past two days have been filled with a lot of giggles. And I have to say it is amazing how helpful our two older girls have been. They both can push the stroller! They can help me distract to brush little teeth. They can give bites of yogurt to a hungry mouth while I am fixing everyone else's breakfast. Amazing! Where were they when I had my first two kids? Oh wait, those are them. Hmmm. I think this is the way to do it! :)
It really has been amazing to see how quickly God has made this all work and how amazingly he has blessed us with an easy situation. I really am so grateful.
We are slowly figuring out how to fit in homeschool. Although I used to insist we do it in the morning, that hasn't been an option so far. During her nap is about the only time that works. So that is when we do it. Today, she did science with us. I don't think it is too early to learn how your taste and smell works!
On a side note- I haven't had stove top popcorn in a while. I love it. Really. I haven't had time and have been totally worn out once the girls are in bed. And I threw out my perfect popcorn pan. Although I didn't know it was the perfect one until I tried my new one. So I googled stovetop popcorn. I found a helpful way. I am not sure why it was so helpful. I got the pan hot, added olive oil, pulled it off the burner while I added the kernels, then put the lid on and scooted it back to the heat. Once it started popping I moved the pan around constantly {and hoped it didn't wake my sleeping girls!} and it came out perfect. So the "recipe" was right and perfect. Now I feel a little more back to normal!

Learning to live...

This week we've had a lot of changes around our house! For me the changes have been quite a lot. Going from two kids to three, remembering toddlers don't stay with you and totally get into EVERYTHING, remembering to pack diapers, wipes, pacis, snacks, and an extra outfit, and to letting (and desperately needing) my awesome husband to help. I am pretty capable of caring for our kids all day long most days. Since we homeschool I rarely get a break from them (and I am grateful), but I have definitely needed some help and he has gone above and beyond WITHOUT me asking. God has been super gracious to me in this!
For our kids, there have been other changes. For our bio girls, they have learned to be more independent and for our foster daughter, she's had to learn to be dependent. It is strange- almost like I am pushing them out of the nest (when they'd rather hang around), while pulling one closer (who'd rather fend for herself). I have really seen some amazing progress for all of them. It is so great to see sweet Bella wanting to be held and smiling most of the time. And learning it is ok to laugh and have fun. And for our girls to learn it is ok to fend for themselves some. Now, we just have to get back to homeschool...I am sure we'll find a way to get that in!
{This post is the first from my new computer! Mine crashed sometime ago and we've been trying to get one for months, but we had foster expenses, car problems, and more car problems. After lunch on Friday my husband casually took me to the Apple store "to pick up what we came for."!!!!!}

We got the call!

Last Monday afternoon we had finished school and Annika and I were getting ready to take a little rest (because she had been up most of the night with her head over a bowl) when we got a call asking if we were interested in a 17 month old girl. We said yes and didn't hear anything for over 2 hours, so we assumed we weren't getting her. We didn't know- this was all new to us! Then I got a call that said we'd probably be getting her and then a call that they'd be at our house by about 5:45. Trav had to teach, so he wasn't even here. Things went way more smoothly than I had expected. She really liked our girls and so that helped tremendously. That girl can give quite a mean look, which I have gotten quite a bit- but it is getting better. :)

I should have blogged then, but I was worn out and the week kept going, then Olivia was up all night with her head in a bowl. So...now it has been over a week and things are becoming a little bit more real. At first everything came without a fuss- eating, diaper changes, teeth brushing, sleeping, etc. I even commented how we'd have a houseful of bio children if our kids were all like this. And then time passed and she got a little bit more comfortable and the fun wore off and reality hit. Most things come with a fuss and a mean look, but that is to totally be expected. But I will be honest. It is not easy. I have about a million emotions going at one time in my heart and mind all day. They wear you out. It is difficult to love a child that isn't your own as your own (not knowing if they will be your own or not); it is difficult to love a child and pour your life into them when they may be gone in a few weeks; it is difficult impossible to not pour yourself into a child just because they may be gone in a few weeks; it is difficult to see things you'd rather not see- like little hands instinctively reaching into the trash can for food. But it is good for so many reasons- this little girl, although not given the love and care she fully needed and deserved, has been spared a lot. And we are grateful. She is smart. She catches on quickly and learns things quickly. She sleeps- very well (despite a tummy bug and a terrible cold). And eats very well- despite being sick and having VERY swollen gums and she can't have any meds to help her (until after her dr appt tomorrow!)
These things are hard for me to share and admit. I knew things would be hard, but I expected them to be hard in a different way. I love kids and this is what God has asked us to do. The things that are hard, honestly shouldn't be hard. But they are. I guess that is where we are reminded we cannot do things on our own.
So really, I think it'd be better to blog another time. When things aren't so crazy in my mind and when we know what we are doing a little better. But it is good to be real and to say that no matter what I am grateful that God will give us what we need to care for this sweet girl and he will watch over her no matter where she ends up. And for that I am grateful and can keep getting out of bed each morning!

Gymnastics and Cheerleading!

I planned to post these pics a while back, but we got a little busy! A couple of weeks ago- before the ice- the girls had show week at gymnastics. They love it and love getting their pictures taken with their medals.

 

The girls are also doing Upward Cheer. I have to say they are naturals! They are so cute! Olivia has learned all of the cheers and likes knowing all of the moves. She has even thrown in a few kartwheels while doing cheers out on the court. Annika really likes it too and does a good job. She adds a lot of hip shaking that is pretty cute! And she can yell loudly! I overheard her tell someone that she doesn't like going though because it makes her tired the rest of the day! :) I have to agree. We get up and race to get there and then get home and we still have the rest of the day ahead of us. But it has been a good experience for them!

January 2011

And to continue...I love to have something to look forward to after New Year's! No one wants the everything is over blues. So we headed to the farm in Perryville. I LOVE it there. So peaceful. There is nothing to do and so much to do all at the same time. It was so cold that day- a little too cold for four wheelers, but not too cold for a two mile walk. (Travis stayed in LR and worked. That is the good and bad of being a professor. You can pretty much go anywhere when you aren't in class, but your work easily travels and lets you work even holidays.) We headed out to the Big Field and it was so fun to watch the kids make the discovery...this tree would be perfect to ride! And they did! It was great and perfect for pictures. I am already dreaming out spring pictures here. Especially with a little tall grass in the background. I will have to talk my uncle into leaving a little patch unmowed!




Annika did amazingly well on our long walk. She only hopped on for a short time. It was so fun to explore, see deer running across in front of us, and try to figure out all of the animal tracks we saw. I can almost feel the cold wind on my face. I would love to be on that walk again right now.

After the Razorbacks had a terribly disappointing loss to Trav's first teaching job, we headed back to TX-also known as the real world. Olvivia was excited to mesh her new Lincoln log sets and build a whole city. It was good to get everything put away and settled back in. And get things going. We started back to school, back to gymnastics, back to dance, cheerleading for the first time, a new piano class, and back to our little family life. I love it and I'm thankful for all of it. I do, however, wonder when we'll be adding to this little family. We should get a call soon. Seems like we got a call about once a month so far. Praying God is preparing us for what that sweet little girl will need.

Whew...that was a lot of catching up! Hope your New Year is going great so far!

New Year's

Now that we've covered Christmas...I love New Year's! I love that every year when the Christmas let down seems to be creeping in, I am reminded we have our annual New Year's party to look forward to. It is family only- except for the year my mom invited her friend that had recently lost her husband, which was very sweet. That was actually my sweet grandmother's last New Year's party. Not that she's missing anything. I am totally certain she's perfectly full of joy!


We always start with champagne tasting. My step-dad does a little trading for some dental work. He scores some pretty expensive bottles of bubbly for us all to sample. He hides them in bags so we all have no idea what we are trying. There are also one or two not as exciting ones he throws in to throw us all off. It is a good time with lots of laughing. I love to laugh.

Then we head out to my parent's deck room- it is really great- all windows hanging out into the woods. My mom loves to cook and make fancy things. We started with this- deviled quail egg and stuffed shrimp. We all asked for seconds on the shrimp! Then we had beef Welllington. And homemade chocolate sorbet and apple strudel. Yum!

Here is my sweet husband. He is cute with his beard- without it too. I am glad to be married to him. And I am glad that almost 11 years later he still makes me smile.




We always get a once a year picture together. Here it is. Probably the last time you'll see us in a picture together until next year. :)

Christmas Part 3

{I am guessing you can see what's going on. Posting a bit at a time. Picasa did 4 pictures this time!}
This gets posted because it the coolest gift ever. My step-brother and sister-in-law ordered the girls puzzles with their pictures on them! They are so neat. Some company out of New Zealand. Anyway, they were very fun!

Here is a picture from our family Christmas at my mom's. We had a kid's team for charades and the rest was on the other side of the room (except Travis. He does not like charades or the happy birthday song). We totally whooped the older team. Everyone knows kids rock at charades. I absolutely love our cousins. They are so sweet and so much fun! I wish we got to see them more often.

My step-sister and step-brother-in-law got the girls hooded towels that are huge and perfect and signed books. Olivia's is signed by Julie Andrews! He works for a publishing company (or something having to do with books) and she came to talk and read her princess book. Annika got a smile book that is great.

And here they are- the book ones. :) And their sweet son who is impossible to get a picture of! He just turned 3. And he can read.

Christmas Part 2

{If you missed the exciting post entitled Christmaas Part 1, scroll down}
Here Annika is making snow. It is really fun. You put a tiny bit of magic snow powder in a bowl and a little water and it fills up the bowl. It is cool, but mostly I just love this picture. I CANNOT believe this little girl is turning 5. It hit me one day and I haven't been the same since. I am not sure why 5 is so hard for me, but it is. Terribly hard.


Ok, back to Christmas happiness. Here the girls (and Travis) are waiting to go open presents at my mom's. They had a great time and got lots of fun things. They are very blessed. Do you see the green animal Annika is holding. It is a cat called Mistletoe Kitten. It is a GREAT book. I highly recommend it to add to your Christmas book collection. It is about a little cat that isn't wanted and has no family. I still can't make it through it without crying- because, of course, I am thinking of little orphans all over the world with no family to care for them. But it very sweet and heart warming.



How do I pick from over 600 pictures- especially since Picasa will only add 3 pics at a time to blogger. I am randomly choosing. Can you tell by the next one? When Olivia was a baby my mom got me some house shoes from the Gap. They were great. Olivia was not great. She did not sleep (much). So at night when I was begging God to make her go to sleep, I would walk her around until she finally gave in for a short while. I always turned on my right foot and totally wore out the sole of the right shoe. Since then, I've gotten new house shoes every Christmas. I love them and since we are home most days, I wear them out quickly. This year mom gave me a pair a little early. I didn't know why since they are an annual Christmas gift. But I found out! She got me 2 pair this year! Now in Aug. when the bottom has worn off and I am finding bits of foam around the house, I can ditch them and switch pairs! {i still have the ones I wore out when Olivia was a baby and my pregnancy test from Annika. That's kind of weird.}

Christmas Travel Part 1

We had a great time traveling around to see family. Now don't get me wrong, it will wear you out. But it is worth it. Plus how else can you take over 600 pictures in just a short time? We first drove to Fayetteville to see Trav's family and this sweet little guy. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes you've ever seen and he's my nephew. It was hard not to pack him up in our car, but I am pretty sure he'd be in princess outfits serving tea to the girls in no time.



Trav's parents were sick, so our visit with them consisted of opening presents together on the front porch the night we left and going to eat and sitting way at the opposite end of the table from each other. It was sad. The girls were looking forward to their annual tradition of making candy cane cookies and lots of playtime.

We drove to LR and the girls both got the stomach bug. That was not a good time.At.All. But thankful we live where we can access all the things we need to help our little ones get better soon. And I am the most thankful it was over before Christmas! Just in the nick of time to have a house full of people over.

My mom got a new hot tub- it is amazing. The girls loved it. It even lights up.



Pink too- although it is the fastest color, so hardest to catch!