Great Progress

Little Missy has come a LONG way in just a few days. It is amazing the progress she has made! She is doing more each day showing a need for some help (even though it is still only in the little things) and coming to me for hugs. She is really bonding which is so great...except that she won't be here long. It is really heart breaking to think of her leaving. She's just in the last couple of days just blended right in and become a "normal" part of our family- with less screaming, whining, and angry looks. Much more giggling and fun. She even says "please" when wanting some food instead of just screaming (sometimes there is a scream first, but when we remind her she says it!) We are all just getting each other and it feels so good. I am thankful that today I knew I wouldn't be getting a phone call saying they were coming for her, so I could really just enjoy it. Although tonight when I was reading her books before bed, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It could be tomorrow. Or maybe it won't be so I shouldn't think that...but I need to have everything ready because I know when they call I won't be able to think straight...God please give me peace about this because I totally trust you with her...this is really painful...stop it... This is what my mind pretty much goes through constantly. It is heart breaking and I can say that because of the past two days it will be even harder, although I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I realized today there won't be a day in my life that I don't wonder how she's doing. Or what she's doing. Or if she's being taken care of. I am not sure how to deal with all of that, but I am thankful God won't ever leave me or leave me alone to deal with those thoughts. And this is all part of doing what he had for us to do. So even though there is pain, I know he will use it to make us more like Him and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful that he will ALWAYS be with her and I don't have to worry about that either. But I am a little worried about when they try to come get her. I am not sure how I will be able to let them take her. They may have to literally pry my arms off of her. She's definitely got some separation anxiety now, so I don't expect it to be pretty. I am just not sure who will be crying louder- her or me. :)