Packing

Ms B will head to a relative's on Monday morning. I have never hated the time change so much. She is getting picked up at 10. I had it all planned out. Big breakfast, sweet long bath, and playtime before...I can't even say it. But now I realize she is really getting picked up at 9. This means everything will be hurried, including our goodbye. I don't like this one bit.

I have gone through and packed up everything. We have to write down everything she brought and everything we bought. So today during her nap I went through and counted everything...with my girls making a lot of loud, weird sounds that were killing my already hurting head. It took way too long, but it is done. So it all sits, neatly folded and packed in a new, cute suitcase waiting by the front door. Such a reminder of what is to come- and who will be going. I should say, the things we bought are in the new cute suitcase. The other things are in the huge blue bag that CPS gives you when they bring you a child. I don't like those bags. So I put all of the things we were given by her family several weeks after we got her in that big blue bag because i don't like them. Not because of what they look like, but because I don't like what they represent. They represent a precious little girl who was not loved and cared for. And an environment that is not good. And a life that was headed no where.

I have so much hope that her life is headed somewhere now. That a little seed has been planted in her heart to know there is more than what she's been given. And that God has redeemed what was once broken. And that he isn't done.

I have completely enjoyed every single giggle today, but it is sad too all at the same time. We planned to go to the zoo today and just ride the train and the carousel as many times as she wanted. But everyone else in Fort Worth was there today along with every single school bus in Ft. Worth. So we opted for the Forest Park Train instead. Thankfully it is about a block away! She LOVED it! She woke up with a terrible cold today, but we pressed on because she needed a fun IHOP meal and ice cream from Yo! Tonight she was so snuggly and giggly. She cannot get enough of books now. When she came she looked for a second and then moved on, but now...now she sneaks another while you are reading one just so she'll have it ready when I am finished with the one I was just reading. So sweet.

The highlight of the day was during her bath this afternoon. This is so simple, but something I probably won't take for granted ever again. You know how you can look at your kids and just do a little smile and they do that little smile back? B has never done that. Sometimes you'd get a glare and sometimes just a lost look. Today during her bath I sat her down and she looked up at me and I just did that little smile because she seems like one of my own and she did it back. It meant more than any hug or giggle. That's the smile of belonging and it was so good to see.